Promise To Change: Will You Get Your Relationship Back With It?

Have you ever made a promise to change just to get or keep someone? Has anyone ever promised you this from those reasons?

Situations like this happen when someone knows that their relationship has come to an end, but just doesn’t want to accept it.

The craziest part is that ending a relationship is usually the best thing that can happen when someone promises to change. Why? Because these kinds of promises are often just an attempt to manipulate the other.

Promise to change to avoid loss

Suppose the person you are in a relationship with has cheated on you. As soon as you find out about this, you immediately put a punt behind it.

• Out of desperation, your partner will do anything to show you that it was just a mistake, that it will never happen again, that he will change. One promise after another rolls over his lips, seeking your forgiveness and approval.
• If necessary, he will even get on his knees and beg. Of course, this arouses in you a lot of pity and compassion. Sometimes this kind of behavior works and we give the other person another chance.

In other words,  they are just attempts not to lose you.

Manipulation

What does this mean? It means he probably won’t keep these promises. Often it is even the case that as soon as you give him a second chance, everything will go back to normal.

These kinds of promises to change come in all kinds of situations: disagreements, lies, when two people are incompatible, breakups…

When faced with this kind of situation, the person who is afraid of losing their partner or unwilling to accept that something has gone wrong in the relationship will do everything and make every promise it takes to try to manipulate your emotions.

Selfishness in relationships

Often times, we just don’t want to admit how bad things are in our relationship. We are only concerned with what we want, which makes us practically willing to risk not only our own health, but also the health of our partner to achieve it.

This often happens as a result of our emotional dependence. You promise to change in order not to lose the person who is the source of your addiction. In short, we are selfish. We bite ourselves into someone and thus feed our poison, while infecting the other person with it.

Empty promises

You can’t make promises if you’re not sure you can fulfill them.

These kinds of promises fool you both. Your intentions may be genuine, but are you really sure they will come true? You don’t deserve to go through this again. You don’t deserve to be lied to and you don’t deserve to lie to anyone else.

Postpone the pain

Promising to change often just means delaying the situation, which will eventually cause you to experience even more pain.

That is why it is important not to get yourself carried away, but instead to remain objective and realistic. This isn’t easy, but why not take the advice of close friends and trusted relatives to heart. Don’t turn down their advice just because they say things you don’t want to hear.

You don’t want to hear the things they have to say because you’re confused. Over time, however, you will gain more perspective and realize that they were right all along.

Don’t cling to promises that will never be fulfilled.

Open your eyes to the pitfalls and stop letting yourself be carried away by the pity and compassion. Take a moment to isolate yourself so that you can reflect on the situation.

No one says you have to make a choice right now. Give yourself the time you need to get a clearer picture of the situation.

Illustrations: Paulo Bonet. Featured image courtesy of wikiHow.com